I don’t like…
When my lunch stares back at me.
I don’t like that at all.
I don’t like…
A weather app that promotes kale.
That’s just wrong.
I don’t like…
Checking my spam folder and finding 31 ads for Amoxocillin.
Geesh, how infectious do they think I am?
It’s time to take a look at the riveting happenings posted on my town’s FB page again.
There are the usual missing critter reports.
Though pigs have taken a back seat to birds this week.
Snakes are actively being sought.
As are nuts.
*Note to male readers – I do not support the crushing of nuts between your legs. No letters, please.*
Artful pumpkins are being carved…
And grapes are plentiful.
Syrup is available.
As are extremely round sheep.
Then there’s the woman who wants everyone to watch a program about garbage.
Garbage…
You’re doing it wrong.
Yes… we’re still on the second day of our trip.
And yes, we’re still at the Falls.
Hey, just be glad I’m weeding through the 1704 photos and only giving you the highlights.
Working our way up the falls took some time.
But it really was lovely.
Nothing like hanging out with Mother Nature to lower your blood pressure.
The closer we got to the top, the more people just plunked themselves down on the rocks and made themselves comfortable…
And why not?
It’s a great place to read, unwind…and enjoy the day.
At the top you cross a wonderful iron bridge…
Look both ways…
And say thank you Jackson Falls…
I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with you.
And your rocks.
(Or maybe that was just me.)
Done with the Falls, we headed into town for some sustenance.
And found the cutest pumpkin display ever…
Next to our destination.
It looked promising.
Warm and inviting.
A vintage inn and tavern whose bar was packed to the rafters that late Saturday afternoon.
I wanted to love it.
I mean come on, they had ski lift seating….
And a sign for the Woodchuck Trail. Who doesn’t love that?
But the service was terrible, the beer was warm and the food? When it finally came, over an hour after we ordered, was barely edible.
Sorry Martin, I didn’t even bother with pictures. Dry meatless ribs and a soggy Rachel sandwich do not warrant photographs.
But martian pumpkins and gourds?
Definitely do.
As you know, we use our timeshare when we travel. Some of the resorts we choose have been fabulous… some less so.
The Grand Summit Resort at Sunday River?
From the outside? Not bad.
Good location, up a long driveway, past a babbling brook… nestled in the mountains.
Technically it’s a ski resort, so yes…. there are ski slopes.
Inside?
Rustic decor, heavily ski-centric.
With questionable carpet choices.
Which did not improve when we made our way upstairs to our condo.
Yeah.
This literally made my head swim every time I had to walk on it.
See? It even made the camera dizzy.
The only good thing I can say about it is they are in the process of ripping it up. Though sadly, not soon enough for us.
While I usually book the larger 2 bedroom unit for extra space, an extra bathroom and a larger kitchen…. this was a last minute deal and I had to take a 1 bedroom. Never having been here before, I have to say I was not impressed.
It was really small.
And as basic as I’ve ever seen.
The “full” kitchen? Not so full.
It also went a little heavy on the moose theme.
While it was clean and the bed was comfortable…. the smoke alarm went off everytime we made toast, which must have endeared us to our neighbors since we’re up with the sun most days. The shower head was so low the 5’8” husband hit his head every time he attempted to wash his hair, and the kitchen cabinet doors stuck to the frames like glue. If you managed to pull them open? The shelves wobbled.
Thankfully we only slept and showered there because the noise from the heating unit would probably have caused me to drink a Drano cocktail had we stayed any longer.
Of course they did provide some stellar reading material on the coffee table….
And a nice big tree in front of our balcony…
With a stunning view of the 6 slot parking lot. The slots everyone jockeys for because otherwise you’re hoofing it down the hill to the auxiliary lot.
Yes… 6 spots up front. For a resort that has hundreds of condo units as well as a hotel and restaurant. Smart planning, that.
Oh well.
The restaurant was fun.
Appropriately named Camp, it was modern rustic.
And we enjoyed it.
Who doesn’t want to be lit by an upside down canoe?
Tasty seasonal cocktails…
And a light dinner later….
We called an end to our first day.
It was a little dreary the day we left, with rain threatening in the distance… but we made good time and actually arrived too early to check into our resort.
What to do. What to do…
Who am I kidding?
It was margarita time.
So we found a chicken themed bar…
And settled in for lunch. Liquid and otherwise…
It was a funky place…
Basically a converted farmhouse with lots of quirky little rooms.
And though they don’t look wonderful….
The homemade chicken croquettes were to die for.
Bellies full, we headed out.
Fall color was intermittent during this trip. Some places gorgeous, others past peak.
We got to Newry, still too early to check in… so we explored.
Found a covered bridge….
Built in 1872…
And enjoyed the views.
It was peaceful…
And smelled like autumn.
For those not familiar…
That means fresh air, apples, a hint of wood smoke, and dry crackling leaves.
Nectar of the Gods.
Down the road a ways, we had a laugh.
We followed the sign, but found neither hole nor Frenchman.
But we did pass a camp….
With the perfect name.
That says it all.
I love the country!
It’s four evil letters…
And I dread it like the plague.
But the time has come.
Entering my 50’s, a hysterectomy forced menopause and long Maine winters have taken their toll and I swear I don’t even recognize myself when I look in a full length mirror.
Alright, yes.
Bacon may have had a little something to do with it.
So now I’m eating healthy.
I’ve given up bacon, and cheese, and gravy, and bread, and chocolate and all those other wonderful things that make life worth living.
I’m back on the treadmill for 2 or 3 sessions a day…. panting, sweating and realizing how horribly out of shape I’ve become.
And believe me when I say I hate exercising.
Really f*ing hate it.
I’m not enjoying the process, but I’m down 14 lbs…. and that’s rewarding.
What’s not rewarding is that I can’t even tell the difference. And that, my friends…. is a sure sign you’re overweight.
I mean damn… shouldn’t my clothes be falling off me by now?
It’s been 5 weeks of abstinence…
(No, not that kind. I’m overweight, not crazy.)
In a perfect world, I lose another 30lbs. But I’m not holding my breath for miracles. The older we get, the harder it is to lose and at this point I’d be happy to just fit into some of my old clothes again.
So, give a girl a hand. If you have any dieting tips or tricks? I’m all ears…
And hips.
And thighs.
And boobs…
actual footage of my treadmill motivation
Stupid products. They’re everywhere…
Even here.
I heard you. You think gas filters aren’t stupid?
Well, this one is for your butt.
The bad part of a fart?
Pray tell, what exactly is the good part…
For those of you who were looking for the perfect stocking stuffer for Xmas this year?
Next… no tie shoelaces.
Because yes, apparently we really are that lazy.
On first glance this looked promising….
Until I remembered the best thing about making S’mores on a campfire is that you don’t have to clean up anything.
Can you imagine the mess that contraption would make in your oven? Melted chocolate and gooey marshmallow crystallizing and baking onto the racks?
Finally, I admit this last stupid product has infinite potential.
Now call me crazy, but a gentle reminder to change the toilet paper is not the first thing that came to mind when I thought of recording a message.
No…
I want more bang for my buck and was thinking more along the lines of the Tidy Bowl Man yelling “Incoming!”….. or an upper class British accent begging you not to make a second trip to the buffet at Taco Loco.
As I said, infinite possibilities.
I like….
These!
Have you tried them yet?
Well, what are you waiting for?
Go!
I like….
Taking a break on our deck after mowing the lawn a few weeks ago, and having a friend show up.
I thought for sure he’d run when he saw me. But he took a good look, deemed me no immediate threat and happily settled in for a nap.
Until the husband opened the door and scared him off.
I like….
Reading that a lobsterman in Falmouth caught a rare 1 in 100 million cotton candy blue lobster….
Took a picture… and donated him to an aquarium where he never has to worry about being captured or eaten again.
I like…
Amazing sunrises in our backyard.
I like….
Driving home along country roads this time of year and seeing the trees bursting with color.
Autumn in New England is hard to beat.
Life is good!
I don’t like….
Ordering flowers over the phone for a friend who just had surgery down in North Carolina. I wanted a large, impressive arrangement and was very specific with my request. I said….
No carnation fillers.
All pink and purple.
An interesting vase… definitely no clear glass.
So what did they deliver for $160?
A clear glass vase, filled with carnations… and a few yellow roses and orange gerber daisies stuck in for no other reason than to piss me off.
$160 worth of everything I didn’t want!
I don’t like….
Ordering a pair of hard to find little batteries from Amazon that fit in an envelope.
And having it come in a box.
Talk about overkill.
I don’t like…
Reading Maine native Stephen King’s latest,
And realizing he’s lost his touch.
This new book? Meh…
Don’t bother.
I don’t like…
Buying a tin of Altoids to keep in my car,
Getting them home and realizing…
They’re slightly past their prime.
2009?
Damn. That’s worse than what I have in the back of my kitchen cabinet.
I don’t like….
My husband getting called into work on a weekend because,
Some idiot doesn’t know how to steer his hot air balloon.
Oops!
I’d like to thank the Academy….
The Liebster Award is an award that exists only on the internet and is given to bloggers by other bloggers. The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011. Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.
The award is a way to be discovered but also to connect and support the blogging community. A great idea in promoting your own blog and others. Originally it was given out to blogs with less than 2000 readers but this has slowly lowed as the reward has gained popularity. It is now only 200 readers or less. It’s really an arbitrary number. If you like helping other blogs out go ahead and do it regardless of its size.
With thanks to Rebecca Wallick at wildsensibility for the nomination….. ( I’m not sure sweetest and endearing are the first words people think of when my blog comes to mind, but hey. I’ll take praise where and when I can. )
If you love dogs, natural splendor and stunning scenic photographs, check out Rebecca’s page. She’s got them all in spades.
Onward!
You know the rules… I have to answer questions. Which I shall do with the utmost amount of seriousness.
1. What typically is the closest object on your right when you’re writing (not including a computer mouse)?
You’ll probably be sorry you asked that… but it’s a poop drone.
And yes, of course it flies.
2. What one-sentence bit of advice would you give to your 13-year-old self?
At 13… I was a shy little thing. Reticent to open my mouth or make my presence known. (Hard to believe, I know) So I would probably tell her…. Dance! Jump off that pier! Sing with the band! Say yes to all the adventures life lays before you and don’t worry so much about what other people think. By the time you’re sitting here blogging about it? It will be too late.
3. Describe your ideal writing space and place (assuming money isn’t an issue).
For me… that would be a treehouse.
A glam treehouse, with a frozen margarita machine and a never ending supply of tequila and limes. Surrounded by nature and the songs of birds, that’s where I’d like to be.
4. What is your most frequent photographic subject?
That changes depending on the season.. and my moods. Lately?
It’s a woodchuck who looks like Jabba the Hut.
5. Favorite quote?
“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
With…. “I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” coming in a close second.
Ole Dorothy Parker knew her stuff.
6. What does blogging (writing, and reading) add to your life?
A sense of connection. It’s like reaching my hand out across the globe and touching people I would never have otherwise met. (And by touching, I’m speaking metaphorically. Don’t call the vice squad.)
7. If you could choose to be any animal for a 24-hour period, which would you be and why?
A wombat.
And I have no idea why.
8. Do you have other creative outlets besides writing?
I used to draw. I used to write poetry. I used to make dried flower wreaths. I used to cross stitch. I used to stamp. I used to paint. I used to dry brush ceramics. I used to do a lot of things. Now… I just take crazy pictures and blog.
And drink.
I drink very creatively.
Amen, Tyrion. Amen.
Okay, now I’m supposed to nominate blogs I think you should discover and make them answer questions as well.
Of course, if you know me… you know my questions won’t be normal. Where’s the fun in that?
So…
liveandlethtai at Paul Dance Writer
Clever Girl at Clever Girl Writes
Kathy at KNJ Tales and Snippets
You’re my chosen victims nominees.
Post these rules:
1. Acknowledge the blog which nominated you.
2. Answer the questions your nominator asked.
3. Nominate two to six other bloggers who might appreciate the boost.
4. Ask them several unique questions.
5. Let them know you have nominated them.
And answer these questions –
1. You’re a pigeon newly arrived in Hollywood. Who do you poop on first?
2. Donald Trump has been impeached. Mike Pence has been trampled to death at a gay pride parade. Nancy Pelosi has resigned her position and run off to Tahiti with a member of BTS. You’ve been chosen to be the next President of the United States. What’s your first executive order?
3. The Brussels Sprout is a much maligned ( and extremely gassy ) cruciferous vegetable. You run a PR firm and have just been hired to tweak it’s image. Go!
4. Your lifelong dream of being a stripper has come true. What’s your stage name?
5. Your cruise ship is sinking and you’ve scrambled onto a life raft only to realize it’s overloaded. What… or who… do you push overboard? A case of craft beer, your significant other, the oars, a beloved pet wombat, or the ship’s navigator ?
*Note – if you say beer or wombat, you are dead to me*
Yes, those really are the questions.
If you were expecting, “Name the most influential person in your life” or “What is your favorite memory of childhood” you’re reading the wrong blog.
We do things differently here.
Yes, I realize you can’t unsee that.
But if you’re struggling for a stripper name… feel free to be inspired.
River's world..... 