Tag Archives: humor

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Water is life.

October 15, 2020 Rivergirl 21 Comments

And if you doubt the veracity of that statement, try living without it for a few days like we are.

Bright and early Wednesday morning, 3 men were in deep thought.

The man on the ground is our wonderful neighbor who brought over his toy to dig a hole.

A hole was dug.

A wet and muddy hole filled with water from a broken pipe.

More deep thinking was called for.

The ‘let’s put wood in the hole filled with water so we can stand on it‘ idea did not work out as planned. Color me surprised.

Youngest member of the team was sent down in hole anyway. (Please note he is a master plumber who planned ahead for the avoidance of butt crack photos, for which I was quite thankful.)

The broken pipe was found and luckily it was right next to the well access so we didn’t have to tear up more lawn or the house foundation.

Solution to the problem? Bypass the existing two pipe configuration, get rid of our ~~not that old damn it!~~ interior water pump system…

And install an exterior submersible pump made of stainless steel. This meant pulling up the existing water line that runs down into the well… and since that cover hadn’t been opened since 1974?

It was not an easy job. And when things don’t come apart easily?

It’s time for the sledgehammer.

A whole lotta pulling followed.

I never knew how far down our well was before this.

But apparently it’s slightly over 90 feet.

Young guy was sent down into the hole again.

And of course because this is a job at our house, nothing went right or smoothly.

Since the old pipe was cracked, it had sucked in copious amounts of dirt and sand that had to be flushed before the wire to the new pump could be pushed through to the house. Nothing worked. Trips were taken back and forth to the plumber’s shop for different tools. Trips were taken to hardware stores for extra supplies and finally… after an entire afternoon of battling… they broke through. Only to move on to the next step and realize a different size pump needed to be ordered.

To be honest, I wasn’t either. Welcome to my world … please bring alcohol.

So a less than wonderful Wednesday ended like this: open water lines actively pissing muddy water from the flooded hole into our cellar.

And notes like this pasted all around our house.

No drinking water, no toilet flushing water, no using dishes and glasses you have to wash… and worst of all, no shower.

Still don’t think water is life? Try not showering for 3 days and get back to me.

To be continued…

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Magazine chuckles.

October 15, 2020 Rivergirl 18 Comments

I have stacks and stacks of free magazines I have yet to read. ( If you’re interested let me know, I’ll hook you up.)

Here are a few articles that got my attention.

Online reviews of our National Parks. Proof positive people are idiots.

Although it’s hard to argue with ‘a very very large hole’ for the Grand Canyon.

Thank you, no.

A month ago they were pushing mermaid shampoo and that was bad enough.

Avocado pudding?

I’d rather eat kale stuffed meatless meatballs.

I think I’ve mentioned my hatred of dolls and all things doll like. But a museum filled with uber creepy antique ones?

Now that’s a blog worth writing.

Llamapalooza?

I am so down with that!

Kind of underwhelming?

We visited Plymouth last fall and saw this oh so famous rock.

Kind of is the understatement of the year.

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Let’s play!

October 14, 2020 Rivergirl 44 Comments

Are you ready for 2020 to be over?

I know I am.

So let’s look ahead to 2021 and see what’s in store.

I hope you have better future plans than mine.

The first three words I saw?

Crabs, pussy and butter.

Uh oh.

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CSA and grocery store giggles.

October 14, 2020 Rivergirl 27 Comments

The harvests keep on coming.

Peppers, fennel, radish, celery, bok choy, chard, eggplant, salad greens and spinach.

Of course it’s fall, so even the eggplants look like pumpkins.

And at the grocery store this week? A run on creamer.

WTH? Is there a new Covid cure I’m unaware of that requires cream…

Good thing the beer aisle was still fully stocked.

And if you’re lucky enough to live in an area that stocks Sam Adams? Do yourself a favor and buy their limited edition seasonal. Jack-O Pumpkin is da bomb.

A four foot rope of sausage? Not so much.

🤢

Paper towels are still a no go. Except this one lone package… which was on sale. 6 rolls for $13. But look at the regular price. $16. That’s $2.66 a roll!

With prices like that, is it any wonder people are making their own truck repairs?

Duct tape. A most versatile product.

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When it rains, it pours.

October 13, 2020 Rivergirl 43 Comments

(And I sincerely hope it keeps raining today because that’s probably the only way I’m going to be able to take a shower.)

I woke up this morning, slowly and creaking because of my knee. The husband, who’s been underfoot since March … who hardly ever has to visit a client since working from home… left at 7:00am to visit a client.

And that’s when the proverbial waste product collided with the rotating blades.

I heard a noise.

And since I’m an anal retentive woman, every noise must be investigated. I tracked the noise to our ~~so filled with crap I never go down there anymore~~ cellar. Stairs are not my friend right now, but I hobbled down in pain and discovered it was the water pump.

(That’s the little blue doohickey to the right for the plumbing challenged among us.)

The water pump was running. For no reason. Cycling on and off every 15 seconds. This is not what you want a water pump to do. So I climbed back upstairs, slowly and with more than a few sound effects, to make sure nothing was turned on, running or leaking. Nothing was. I hobbled outside in the rain to make sure the outdoor faucet wasn’t left on. It wasn’t. Reaching the end of my diagnostic skills, I called our plumber.

No. That is definitely not me.

Miracle of all miracles he answered the phone and walked me through a few steps to check the problem. The pump is only 5 years old, the heater a mere 3. Nothing seemed to be wrong inside but when he had me go outside and check the well…

And I looked down inside..

The cap to our well was crooked and water was positively bubbling out of it. (picture taken later, sorry… no bubbles) ((The bag of sand was my husband’s answer to the well house blowing over in high wind. He might come to regret this quick fix, please stay tuned.))

When I explained what I saw, the plumber told me to run back down to the water pump (which didn’t happen because, ya know… torn meniscus) and shut power off to the water pump, water heater and recirculator. (another waste of money gadget the husband had to have which doesn’t make a bit of difference).

So I shut power off to everything because he thinks one of our pipes has cracked or broken.

Yeah. Big time. He doesn’t think it’s a pipe in the house, but rather one leading to the house… and that can’t be good.

Thankfully he’s coming this afternoon… so if you’re a person who prays? Please pray to the god of plumbing for a swift and easy fix for your dear friend River. And rest assured if there are any photos worth posting?

I will.

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My first one is a live pear.

October 12, 2020 Rivergirl 8 Comments

I don’t know about you, but I never have anything pop up in the ‘search terms’ box of my stats page…. until now.

I was excited! What was someone looking for when they arrived at my page… Chickens? Rocks? Rodent rebellions? It could be anything.

New live pears?

What the…

What?

This required a Google search of my own.

The Grisly Pear and… zombies.

No, that can’t be right.

Let’s try again.

Okay, a giant lau lau is strange enough…

But a waterproof bullet vibrator?

What the utter F!

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When ya gotta go….

October 12, 2020 Rivergirl 24 Comments

Sometimes you just have to go. Which, when on the road during a global pandemic, can be a challenge.

Yesterday the husband had to physically enter his office for the first time since March to pick up some paperwork, so we took the scenic route which added a half hour to the hour long drive. The sun was shining, the leaves were turning…. life was good. Until those 2 large glasses of iced tea I had with lunch kicked in.

I don’t know what’s it like in your part if the world, but here in Maine a lot of the convenience stores, gas stations and fast food places have closed their rest rooms to customers for fear of spreading the virus.

It took us 4 stops to find a Burger King that welcomed people with full bladders. And by the look of the pictures on the doors? I wasn’t the only one in dire need.

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Oh no, not again.

October 11, 2020 Rivergirl 26 Comments

I walked into the barn this morning to find my husband working on a template.

And yes, I cringed.

Having finished one side of the strapping on the ceiling and running out of that particular wood, he decided it was time to trim the windows.

And while I applauded the fact he was actually going to corner them properly, I knew it wouldn’t be smooth sailing.

One day.

One entire day to frame two windows … because he added quarter round.

Why did he add quarter round you ask?

Because when he first built this barn to be a… you know, barn? …there were giant gaps around the windows and nothing was air tight. Who was going to complain…. the lawn mowers?

But now that’s it morphed into a palatial man cave, gaps must be sealed.

And live ordinance moved.

Framing on the outside, quarter round on the inside, and extra quarter round on the top corners…. all because he didn’t install the windows correctly the first time.

Jesus wept.